ESSAYS

Fourteen Women Play One Guitar
Electric Literature

He is the one who needs to talk about feelings. I say this and catch him off guard. It is the only time I can remember surprising him. He has become accustomed to my predictability. I am medicated and in therapy three times a week. I am committed to us fucking other people. I am not trying to be good. I am not trying to be anything.

On Men and Pests
Medium’s Equality section feature


The day Brett Kavanaugh was confirmed to the Supreme Court I left my apartment and there were two dead crickets on my doorstep. My mother says a cricket in the house is good luck, but what do two dead crickets on a doorstep mean?


i'm a librarian. the last thing we need is silicon valley disruption
Vox

We search for the correct offices. We print Google maps with walking or bus instructions. We give them a running start in helping improve their lives. In a world heavily skewed toward people who can pay for access to resources, we do what we can to provide equity.

ragnar6.JPG

THINGS YOU MAY NOT KNOW
This Recording

People often think I am safe. Children and animals are correct. People are often wrong. I have been mistaken for a mirror, a punching bag, a solution. I have never been the solution.

THE FIFTH STAGE OF GRIEF
Medium's Human Parts

I replaced the copy of A People’s History of the United States I lent you that never came back. I stopped maniacally repeating the list of what was found in your body that morning, as if memorizing it would let me take something out.


in which we try to maintain better posture
this recording 

My mother talks about the troubles of getting him here, how he went to bed and loudly refused to get out. He sits directly across from her and I realize he is not listening or, more likely, does not know it is him we are speaking about. 

Autumn is the hardest season
medium's human parts

I remember smashing my forehead into the scratchy carpet of my mouse-and-cockroach-infested basement apartment and angling my hips up, rocking back and forth into a half somersault. I remember saying “no” so many times it felt like it wasn’t a word anymore, just a way of crying.


INVISIBLE TERRAIN
Medium's Human Parts 

You remember why it has gone on so long in this moment, but, for once, it doesn’t change what happened in that chair. Your love is a ticking time bomb now. Your love is something you left in another room. You want to love this familiar person, but the distance feels unchangeable now. You’re not sure you have another Christmas or silent car ride in you.

OTHER THAN MYSELF
This Recording

I read several essays about travel and home and all of them make me cry. I am exhausted with constantly bathing myself in nostalgia and rinsing it off with other people’s well-crafted sentences. Cities are beginning to mean less to me. Nostalgia is, too. You can be miserable anywhere. You can be happy, too. I am tired of tallying up my sins and organizing them by zip code.


ALL ADVENTUROUS WOMEN DO
Medium's Human Parts 

He clips and I feel it in the very center of my body. I wonder how they can say, every time, every doctor, that I may want to take an ibuprofen an hour before, I might have slight cramping. The pain shoots up my spine, arching my back and opening my jaw to my chest. My eyes don’t squeeze shut until I realize I have been staring wide-eyed at the lights long enough to make them burn. 

“All done,” he assures me. Tissue gone and into a cup.


on guns in schools
Medium's human parts W/audio recording

I work with adults now in a public library ...but I also see the children in every single adult that comes in that door. I see how society failed many of them. I see what hurt them and how drugs and the streets and forced sex work and assault and guns all make sense.